So...it's definitely possible that emotions are clouding my judgment, but the latest episode of This Is Us feels like one of the strongest, sharpest, and most quietly devastating to date. Things are (thankfully) pretty light in the present day, with everyone gathering in L.A. for a taping of The Manny and discovering in the process that absolutely nobody wants to watch a taping of The Manny. But in the past, Jack reckons with his alcoholism for the first time on-screen, and it is straight up gut-wrenching. Milo Ventimiglia has never been better, and if this episode is any indication, I'm truly unconvinced that I'm ever going to be the same after this season.
Let's get into my feelings, because there were a lot of them.
1. Before we begin, let's all just take a moment to appreciate the fact that this episode is entitled "A Manny-Splendored Thing." As a deep and passionate lover of puns, I am HOWLING.
2. "How did you stop before, Jack?" Great question—we really didn't see much in the way of details when Jack quit drinking last season. Rebecca was just like, "Be a man, deal with it" (which is not the greatest response, honestly) and then he went away and…dealt with it. It felt overly neat, so I'm glad this season is acknowledging that.
3. This emotional drum-clashing music, which I'm going to inelegantly call Jack's Troubles Theme, is incredibly powerful. It's a variation on score the show has already used, but with this more intense, ominous driving motif. Appropriate, since every scene involving Jack in this era is now suffused with dread, because he's trying so hard and yet WE KNOW HE DOESN'T HAVE LONG TO LIVE.
4. "You've been eating six ounces of plain chicken breast at every meal!" Always appreciate when shows acknowledge that people don't just casually look like Kevin.
5. Beth's naked disdain for The Manny is incredible. And as a die-hard fan of the Randall/Kevin dynamic, I love that Randall is trying to defend Kevin because he's sensitive. "He already feels like you don't think he's funny." "I don't think he's funny." Ruthless.
6. With that being said, I wonder if Randall has filled Beth in on exactly what went down with Kevin's play? Like, Kevin literally walked out on his opening night, resulting in his play being shut down for weeks, because Randall needed him. So…Beth, I hear you, The Manny sucks, but you can sit through one taping.
7. Of COURSE this scene where Kevin does an impression of his own meltdown for Sophie's benefit was going to end with the show's producer walking in. Of course.
8. Oh man, poor Miguel trying to take a Manny selfie with Kevin and getting shut down. Wait. SEE? When did this happen? When did I start feeling so bad for Miguel? He tries so hard, and Kevin in particular is so brutal! I also don't think we'll see that his ending up married to Rebecca was some opportunistic "moving in on your dead friend's girl" situation—they're clearly both going to be devastated by Jack's death.
9. "Please be nice to Sophie." Kate immediately defused this weird line, saying, "You know we like her more than you," but is there some historical tension with Sophie and the Pearsons that we're yet to find out about?
10. Jack's father-daughter relationship with Kate was already adorable in season one (remember that "Vogue" scene?) but this season I think it's going to truly wreck me. Milo Ventimiglia just has such strong chemistry with both the young actresses who play Kate through the years, and her putting her hands on both sides of his face like he does to Randall? MY HEART.
11. "Mommy, have some wine. You relax when you have wine." Susan Kelechi Watson is serving up some killer low-key comedy reactions here.
12. Kate's life-long resentment of Rebecca feels very convincing and earned. It's nice that we're acknowledging that Rebecca is played by Mandy Moore, and is musically talented in a way that would definitely feel threatening to Kate—especially because Rebecca, while well-meaning, did a real number on Kate's self-esteem with her nitpicking. But there's layers of pain here, because Rebecca obviously gave up on the last of her singing dreams after Jack died, when she was right around Kate's age (37).
13. The possibility of Randall and Beth adopting an older child with emotional issues just gave me a flash-forward to what season three or four of this show might look like, and I'm not ready.
14. This. Montage. Jack punching that bag and flashing back to his time in Vietnam and his abusive, awful dad, while Kate sings "Landslide" years after his death? Chills. Actual spine tingles. Jack is such a good man despite coming from such a terrible household.
15. Aaaand there's that Kevin's punishment! Obviously, The Manny is a sitcom, so the showrunner can't have his character fall down an elevator shaft, but they will absolutely have him crawl around in an adult-sized diaper.
16. This scene between Kevin and Beth is delightful, and I hope we one day get to see awkward college-age Randall asking out awesome college-age Beth using Kevin's pickup line.
17. "You sang incredibly beautifully!" Oof, really Rebecca, the double adverb? At least try to sound sincere. I wonder if Rebecca is meant to be an objectively better singer than (adult) Kate in the show, because that's certainly how it comes off—not that it makes her constant low-key criticism any less hurtful. On the other hand, I feel like Older Rebecca basically just exists to be berated by her adult children. Sometimes it's deserved (like with the secret she kept from Randall last season), but this tantrum from Kate feels a little much. "Existing" is not a thing Rebecca needs to feel bad about, and she definitely doesn't need to be taking a lecture from Toby.
18. I have re-watched Beth jumping into Randall's arms maybe seven times. I. Love. Them. So. Deeply.
19. And though they're nowhere near the same level as Randall/Beth, I'm also pretty into Kevin and Sophie. They have a really natural, easy energy and I completely believe that they're known each other for half their lives. She's also very good at gently puncturing Kevin when he's veering a little too close to obnoxious.
20. Gotta say, though, watching almost everybody leave before the taping even starts? Little rough. Poor Kevin. (You know who didn't leave, though? MIGUEL. Just saying.)
21. Jack telling Kate he has a drinking problem is just maybe the best scene Ventimiglia has done on this show. He's so determined to get better and not disappoint his family and there's the intense clashing emotion music again and oh God I'M NOT DOING WELL OVER HERE, GUYS.
