As a proud Texan who no longer lives in her home state, I can say, with certainty, that there are things Texas ladies are so much better at than everyone else. There's just something about growing up in a state where temperatures regularly top 100 degrees and where spicy food is basically served to us as infants that makes you stronger and better equipped for the world. Here are some things Texas girls are just better at, no questions asked.
1. Dealing with 105-degree weather with 100 percent humidity.
If you grew up anywhere near Houston, "100 percent humidity" isn't a weather condition — it's just the weather, basically every single day. But we grew up with it, so we know how to maintain our hairstyles even while breaking a sweat.
2. Doling out the meanest things you've ever heard but making them sound like compliments.
If you're from Texas, you know that "bless your heart," actually means something like "you are a terrible idiot and I don't know how you make it through the day without causing some sort of catastrophe." It's brutal and effective.
3. Sitting on hot car seats that might actually burn the skin off your thighs.
Even though we travel in air-conditioned cars basically year-round, we know that the second you turn that car off, the inside temperature immediately jumps up to approximately 500 million degrees. Leather car seats are so hot you could essentially fry an egg on them. But for a real Texan, that's just part of life. Also, that's why you sit on your jacket (which you always have with you because every building is so air conditioned).
4. Quickly whipping up the world's most perfect guacamole without a recipe.
Yeah, if you need a recipe to make guacamole, you're doing it wrong.
5. Eating spicy food.
I have yet to find any salsa outside of Texas that actually brings spice to my mouth. It's like New Yorkers can't handle anything hotter than I don't know...ketchup? What's less spicy than ketchup? Oh and actually, even the ketchup in Texas is spicy. There's just no comparison when it comes to the spicy food all Texans are born to crave.
6. Knowing which seasonal Shiners are actually good.
There's Ruby Redbird for summertime (good), Shiner Cheer (better), and Shiner Strawberry Blonde (really only OK). Texas girls never make the terrible mistake of picking up the wrong six-pack.
7. Somehow knowing exactly how to two-step, even if they've never two-stepped before.
Two-stepping is basically a rite of passage in Texas. If you didn't do it at a wedding, you probably did it at Gruene Hall or Midnight Rodeo. For those who don't know, it's so much more than just taking two steps in a circular fashion. Like, y'all, there are flips involved.
8. Pounding Whataburger HBCBs like there's no tomorrow.
You can argue all day long about McDonald's or Burger King? Texans know that nothing in this world compares to Whataburger, and we are experts at guzzling HBCBs (Honey Butter Chicken Biscuits, for the unfortunately uninformed) and Honey BBQ Chicken Strip Sandwiches. It's an art form. Also, Texans know the hack of adding pickles to their HBCBs.
9. Breaking in a pair of boots and not complaining about all the blisters.
Cowgirl boots might look comfy and cool, but if you've ever put on a fresh pair, you know they're actually so tight stiff. You have to break them in (maybe by two-stepping?).
10. Tequila shots.
You do them at every single bachelorette party you'll ever go to if you live in Texas. And only suckers use a chaser. A real Texas girl sucks on a lime and asks for another round.
11. Finding the best barbecue.
There's some insane myth floating around the northeast that burgers and hot dogs = barbecue. I am here to say: no. This is not true. This is so, so wrong. For it to be considered barbecue, you must have white bread, soggy brisket, some sort of sausage, and troughs of cold, dill pickle chips. Also: barbecue sauce is RED, not white, not clear, not any other color. RED.
12. Putting down frozen margaritas without a problem.
First of all, if you didn't grow up in a place where frozen margaritas were available year-round, I feel so bad for you. They are the nectar of the gods, if the gods were into tequila. They can also be a lot to handle if you aren't used to them (if you've ever had a MexiMart at Trudy's, you know how real this is), but for Texas girls, a margarita is essentially water.
13. Shutting down total nonsense.
If you think Texans are tough, Texas girls are especially tough. Not only do they have to deal with heat, driving for hours in the car just to get anywhere, and the insane humidity, but they have to deal with a bunch of men calling them "sweetheart" and "honey" all the time.
14. Driving down the highway for eight hours at a time.
A weekend trip to anyone else is a day trip to a Texan, and there's no one you'd rather have on a road trip than a Texas girl. Not only does she know the true value of good car snacks, she'll come with playlists prepared and the stamina to sit behind the wheel for hours on end, with no need to worry about highway hypnosis. We grew up driving, like, four hours to grandma's house and then back again at night — we can handle a road trip.
15. Being super proud about where they're from.
There just isn't another state that has the kind of pride that Texas inspires. It doesn't matter if you stay in Texas your whole life or move away eventually, a Texan is always a Texan. If you don't believe me, just watch how much people from Texas freak out when they meet other Texans outside of their state, or watch how they introduce themselves as "Texans" instead of "Americans" when they travel abroad.